I can’t go any farther in this post without saying the biggest imaginable THANK YOU to all of you for the support. When I say that it is you guys make this possible, that is not an exaggeration. You allow me to pour my heart into this and do it full time. But it’s so much more than that to me. The kindness, the generosity, the words of encouragement, the discussions, the insightful and hilarious comments, the private messages about ways in which videos have been helpful/useful/entertaining mean more to me than I could ever say and have significantly and irreversibly changed my OUTLOOK ON HUMANITY (still not exaggerating). One thousand patrons might seem like a modest achievement to some, but to me it’s everything because of what it symbolizes. I thought that for this post I would write some of my reflections on my experience doing YouTube and Patreon so far in the tiny hope that it can provide value to others (for those who are interested), as well as detail the plan going forward and what this changes for the future. PLANS FOR THE FUTURE The 1,000 Patron milestone has been hit, and the aim was 2 videos a day every day. In the run-up to 1,000, I’ve gotten a lot of comments and private messages to the effect of, “are you really going to do 2 videos a day?” and “Please don’t burn yourself out.” I’ve given it a lot of thought, because it is my nature to WANT to rise to the challenge and to deliver, and my biggest fear is being deceitful or letting anyone down. The truth is it would be extremely difficult to DOUBLE my video output right away, as I am stretched somewhat thin as it is. Another consideration is that I’m not sure how many people even WANT me to double the content, because that would be A LOT to keep up with. Yet it is very important to me to acknowledge this amazing milestone and to express my gratitude, even in some small way. So what I have decided is this: I will work towards daily double videos gradually, scaling up over time depending on how things go and how much work I can begin to outsource. In the meantime, I will be doing as many extras as time/resources permit. These will be uploaded randomly and mostly without announcement. For these extra videos, I think it would be a good idea to do things OTHER than the main series I am watching so that you guys can choose if you want to watch them or not without having to worry about missing out on the main series. For example, a week or so ago I did the Ilse’s Notebook OVA in addition to the regularly scheduled AOT episode reaction. I am thinking it will be that kind of thing as well as additional, shorter series that I can watch in short stretches when I have time. My goal is to deliver as much as possible as a thank you for all of the amazing support, while also keeping things flexible enough that I can take care of myself and feel things out as I go in the process. I’m hoping this will be a compromise that provides value while also keeping things manageable and healthy for me. To that effect, I am always happy to take recommendations for shorter or one-off things that you would like me to react to. As a first step, expect the No Regrets OVA this coming week, and a surprise series coming sometime soon :) REFLECTIONS ON YOUTUBE AND PATREON 1. Believe in your dreams? Here’s a weird thing for me to think about: I never believed this was possible. The entire time I did YouTube, I never really thought it would go anywhere. I hoped it would, but I couldn’t even imagine what success would look like. Also, as happy as I am with my current state of life now, I never envisioned it in any level of detail, or aimed for it specifically. This is totally different and in some ways contradictory to the messages I heard my whole life: “Believe in yourself and you will succeed” “Follow your dreams” “Figure out what you want and go for it.” “Find your purpose.” I’ve come to believe that there is something backward about the messages we receive about dreams and success. Self-confidence is not (in my experience) something that can be generated internally out of a vacuum, nor is it an essential ingredient for success. Detailed dreams will always be incomplete because our specific vision is only half of the equation (the other half is the world/reality). It is nearly impossible to know exactly what we really want for ourselves without experience. The journey is never over because dreams always give way to new dreams. I always thought the order of events was something like… Feelings -> Actions -> Results ...I now think it is more like… Actions -> Results -> Feelings For YouTube, I just started on a whim (not the whole truth but that’s a long story). And I enjoyed the process, and so I kept going. I worked daily: learning new things, improving gradually, experimenting, listening to feedback, etc. And it was nothing for a very long time, until suddenly it was something. At no point before it was something did I ever truly believe it could be something. While this may seem basic, to me this partially addresses a bunch of confusing questions I struggled with for a long time: Q: How do I figure out my dreams? A: You don’t. Maybe some people do, but I think they are actually an exception; It’s not a workable strategy. Go out into the world and do stuff, don’t be afraid to sacrifice (more on this below), and your dreams hopefully shape themselves. Q: Where do I start? A: Start by solving a problem for yourself. This could be based on something you really dislike, something you want to avoid in life, or something you’re frustrated by not having. Or follow a whim that feels good to follow (as long as you’re keeping yourself safe and healthy). When I started doing YouTube, I quickly realized that I couldn't imagine NOT doing it, and that was a sign to me that I was following the right whim. But I didn't know it was the right thing until I started. Q: How do I believe in myself? A: You don’t need to. That is a byproduct of the thing, not the thing itself. Q: What is my purpose? A: Maybe “living a satisfying and enriching life” is as specific as it needs to be for now. So what does a satisfying and enriching life look like? 2 . Advice is incomplete / Nothing happens without sacrifice When people give advice, they often mean well, but they are basing it on what they have seen and what they know. But when you think about it, the world is probably way more “UNKNOWN BUT POSSIBLE” than “KNOWN AND ALREADY EXISTS.” And so this framework for the world is limiting. To this day, when I talk about YouTube/Patreon, my family members and some friends say things like, “maybe you can leverage this into a great job one day.” To me this is (mostly) hilarious, because I can’t imagine why that would be my goal. It seems to me that these comments come from a view of the world based solely on what is familiar. By saying this, I don’t mean to put down any particular way of life or conventional knowledge. I’ve had jobs I loved, and I think the right job for the right person can be the perfect fit and can provide immeasurable value to the world. And conventional wisdom exists for a very good reason. I mean to point out that other options exist that are not reflected in daily conversation or everyday experience. And those pursuits will often be looked down upon at first until they actually bear fruit, in which case that gets reversed and they become the subject of admiration. While using the default view of life and occupations as a sort of "home-base" for conducting our lives is healthy and useful, that should not be the end of the thought because many exceptional things happen at the margins. I had this thought for the first time after spending time abroad. I constantly experience friends who complain about their job, their rent, subway delays (a staple of NYC complaints), etc. I always love to suggest teaching English abroad as a way to shake things up and solve some of those problems, but the answer is always “I can’t.” And the reason for that is not because they actually can’t, or that they wouldn’t enjoy it, or because it wouldn’t be good for them, but because it’s WEIRD and they would have to sacrifice the life they have now, and few are willing to trade what they have for what could be, especially when they know their decisions will not be understood by those around them. 3. The internet is full of great people / hate is weak This is a tough one. Internet hate is a real thing to be sure. It’s very easy to launch attacks at people when you would never dare to do so in real life. Miscommunications abound, due largely to a lack of facial expressions and vocal tones. But my experience doing YouTube and Patreon has proven to me without a shadow of a doubt that actually, people on the internet are awesome. Or at least it's proved that awesome people exist in huge numbers (more than 1,000 confirmed), and will be active when the right space exists for that. I think it’s really easy to get cynical when dealing with large groups of people. Negative examples tend to stand out more, and the people who would say negative things are probably a lot less hesitant to post comments than people who are generally thoughtful. And so it’s easy to get put off on the internet by focusing on the negative examples and extrapolating that broadly across the population. I always know when my videos are doing better than normal because I get a higher rate of comments that might be considered negative. This happens because YouTube is pushing videos to new audiences who have the potential to dislike my content. My first instinct is usually to react harshly, but I rarely do, because my next thought is “they’re probably very young,” followed by, “maybe they’re having a hard time right now,” which neutralizes my desire to react negatively. Furthering this sympathetic outlook for me is that, in my experience, people who are angry or hateful lack conviction. They will wait to kick you when you’re down but will hate silently when you are...